I Have Found You
by Halima Xudoyberdiyeva
Translated from Uzbek by Johanna-Hypatia Cybeleia
I have found you, but farewell,
Say "Farewell," not "Until we meet."
This sun will still get very red and hot,
This moon too will wish much harm on my life.
If you won't become the partner for my sadness now,
Actually, I would never have you as my partner.
Goodbye now, forgive my too much/not enough,
I cannot love you like Layla.
Don't be hurt because of these mistaken problems.
O God, desires go empty in a moment.
How should I find out in the paths of love--
Not crazy, I will meet You face to face...
Men seni topgandim
Men seni topgandim, ammo yaxshi qol,
Sen "yaxshi qol" degil, "ko‘rishguncha"mas.
Bul quyosh hali ko'p ol bo‘ladir, ol,
Bul oy ham umrimga ko‘p qiladir qasd.
Sen sherik bo‘lmaysan endi g‘amimga,
Darvoqe, hech qachon sherik qilmadim.
Xayr endi, ma‘zur tut ortiq-kamimga,
Men seni Layloday seva bilmadim.
O‘rtanma, bu xato mushkullaridan,
Yo rabbiy, lahzada bor orzular puch.
Men ham qaydan bilay ishq yo‘llarida--
Majnun emas, Senga kelarimni duch...
The play on words is in the last line: Majnun means crazy, but is also the legendary lover of Layla -- a role that the poet rejects at the end of the previous stanza.
Poet Halima Xudoyberdiyeva was born on May 17, 1947 on the Progress Collective Farm in Boyovut, Sirdaryo Province. She graduated from the journalism faculty at Tashkent State University (now Uzbekistan National University) in 1972. Her first job was on the editorial staff of the journal Saodat. In her student years she published her poem collection Ilk Muhabbat (first love). The poet's collections Oq Olmalar (white apples) and Chaman (flower garden) were published in 1973 and 1974. Right away she was known for her own particular quality. In 1975-77 she studied in an advanced literature course at the Literature Institute in Moscow. In these years the poet's collections Beliye Yabloki (white apples in Russian), Suyanch Tog'larim (my supporting mountains), and Bobo Quyosh (grandfather sun) were published.
Xudoyberdiyeva was the head of the Yosh Gvardiya publications department (1978-1982), and in 1984-1994 was the editor in chief of Saodat. From 1991 to 1994 she was president of the Uzbekistan Women's Committee. The poet sang with warmth of ordinary peasants and the motherland in her poems. In the years of independence, Halima Xudoyberdiyeva wrote of the people's history, their famous ancestors. Muqaddas Ayol (sacred woman) (1987), Bu Kunlarga Yetganlar Bor (there are those who have made it to now) (1993), To‘marisning Aytgani (what Tomyris said) (1996), Saylanma (selected anthology) (2000) are the poet's major works.
In 1992 Xudoyberdiyeva was awarded the title of "People's Poet of Uzbekistan" and the "Mark of Honor" medal.